What's your favorite thing that baby Don Draper does? Is it when he psychologically abuses and/or cruelly ignores his long-suffering wife? Is it when he lies about his identity to his own family? Is it when he goes through a brief spell of full blown alcoholism that is surprisingly difficult to differentiate from his previous spells of pretty much full blown alcoholism? Is it when he chases his young wife around the apartment in a fit of rage and then has angry sex with her on the brand new carpeting? Is it when he threateningly sticks his baby hand up that comedian's wife's dress in the restaurant vestibule and throttles her vagina? (Gabe! This is just a human child we are making jokes about!) (You! Tell that to the parents who dressed him up as one of the worst possible male role models imaginable!) (You! Also relax! I'm not making fun of him, I'm making fun of his costume! Life is tough!) Was it when he abandoned his wife at the Howard Johnson because she didn't like ice cream or some shit? Was it when he seduced that Jewess? Was it when he stole a colleague's idea in a meeting because he was drunk and creatively unproductive and weak and terrified? Was it when he found that dead body? Was it when he lectured Peggy for the thousandth time in a sexist and condescending way that is almost certainly true of the time but that doesn't make it any less sexist or condescending? Was it when he took his children to Disneyland as a pretense for testing out the mothering capabilities of his secretary before manipulating their power dynamic to make her his wife? Was it when he fucked his daughter's teacher? Or was it his son's teacher? You know he probably fucked both of their teachers, right? Let's not quibble over which teacher. Oh, Baby Don Draper! You little cad! (Via FlavorPill.)
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