Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

Feels like people were kind of quiet this week. Everyone OK? You guys all sick? Get well soon! Here's something that might get you TALKIN': the Unofficial Videogum Book Club is starting up again with a very ambitious selection: David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest. That's a good book! (Controversial opinion, I'm sure. See this week's Lowest Rated Comment.) Don't drop it on your foot! You can join your fellow monsters in the reading and discussion of said book here. Hopefully by the time you are finished reading it you will have recuperated from whatever it was that made you incapable of commenting this week. I mean, seriously, it's a long book, it should give you plenty of time. How sick are you?!

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Sad Beetlejuice Caption Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5		explainer guy tries again | Nov 1st	Score:53
		herman cain
	Posted in: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: Sad Beetlejuice

#4		facetaco | Oct 31st	Score:57
		Skinless Facetaco:
	Posted in: Draw Something: Improve Heidi Klum's Halloween Costume!

#3		R2D2, Esq. | Nov 1st	Score:58
		Later in the interview: “I know our relationship might seem unusually close to outsiders, but nothing would ever happen between us. He thinks of me like a daughter.”
	Posted in: Yeah We Get It, Scarlett Johansson. WE'RE JEALOUS!

#2		facetaco | Nov 2nd	Score:69
		No, he just finally found one.
	Posted in: Everyone Is Divorced

#1		mrCasual | Nov 2nd	Score:83
		We need to stop defining people by the color of their skin. I don’t even think of Herman Cain as a black person. I think of him as an Italian person, because he makes pizza.
	Posted in: Ann Coulter Should Have Rested Her Garbage Case About Black People!

[Assoc. Ed. Note: mrCasual, that was a great comment! ARE YOU JACK HANDEY? Does Jack Handey comment on Videogum and is he you?! If so, I'm a huge fan. If not, I'm still a huge fan because that was a great comment. Congrats. Likewise to the rest of you. This is your day, all of you. ENJOY IT!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1		badideajeans | Oct 28th	Score:-17
		THIS IS THE WORST BOOK I'VE EVER THROWN OUT A WINDOW. ANYONE WHO LIKES IT IS A JERK.
	Posted in: Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

[Assoc. Ed. Note: The book in question was, topically enough, Infinite Jest. Maybe also a cheap grab for lowest rated?!? Who knows. No one will ever know. Congrats/Boooooooo to you, badideajeans!]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

		explainer guy tries again | Nov 1st	Score:53
		herman cain
	Posted in: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: Sad Beetlejuice

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, explainer guy tries again! You earned it.]

This Week’s Associate Editor's Choice

		fondue cheddar | Nov 3rd	Score:10
		She was obviously inspired by Johan Sebastian Baaaaaach Bach Bach Bach Baaaaaaaaaaaach
	Posted in: The Chicken Fiddler Is Just Very Good At What She Does

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Sometimes there's just one perfect joke out there and it doesn't get said until someone just goes ahead and SAYS IT. Thank you for being the one to do that, fondue cheddar. You really went for it here.]

This Week’s Editor's Choice

		ElectricKoala | 9:50am	Score:5
		The complete list of the things she stole in the computer game, my fondest form of the Carmen Sandiego franchise:Here, via Wikipedia, is a complete list of fifty things that Carmen Sandiego stole in Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?: The Khyber Pass The Steps To The Tango Uluru The Baton Used To Lead The Vienna Boys Choir The Fish From Half Of Lake Titicaca The Plans For This Year’s Carnival The Silver Pagoda The Game Winning Puck From The First Stanley Cup Championship The Strait Of Magellan The Keys To The Forbidden City Havana’s Best Cigars Hans Christian Andersen’s Writing Desk The Nile River Delta The Gargoyles From Notre Dame Cathedral The Keys From Beethoven’s First Piano The Olympic Flame The Best Coffee All The Goulash Geysir Gandhi’s Glasses The Island Of Bali The Presidential Palace’s Finest Rug The Salt From The Dead Sea The Sistine Chapel’s Ceiling The Snow From Atop Mt Fuji Nairobi International Airport Every Last Drop Of Salsa Casablanca The Abominable Snowman The Dykes All The Kiwi Birds The Delta Of The Niger River K2 The Controls For The Panama Canal The Headwaters Of The Amazon River A Monkey-Eating Eagle The Trans-Siberian Railroad The Middle Of The Trans Arabian Pipeline The Statue Of Sir Stamford Raffles The Cape Of Good Hope The Secret Recipe For Kimchee The Bulls From Pamplona The Court Stage From Drottingholm Palace The Ngorongoro Crater The King’s Siamese Cat Every Anchovy From The Black Sea The Keys To The Tower Of London The Statue Of Liberty’s Torch The Mekong River The Zaire River Ferry
	Posted in: Jennifer Lopez IS Carmen Sandiego!

[Ed. Note: Admittedly, this week's Editor's Choice basically goes to Wikipedia, but still, this is just INFORMATIVE. That being said, it raises a lot of questions. Like, how did Carmen Sandiego STEAL A CRATER? Seems unlikely. I feel like even Sean Connery in Entrapment would've been like "Nun-unh." Nonsense. If anything that game was un-educational, putting junk in children's brains. Steal the river delta? Go to bed!]