The ads have already started airing. Every year, the Christmas industrial complex encroaches earlier into autumn, and thanks to climate change, we're now subjected to holiday fare before some of us have even pulled our coats out of the closet. The promo blitz extends to the music industry, where new yuletide tracks and albums start materializing basically as soon as school returns to session.
The slate of holiday tunes is once again packed this year, and many of them are already out. It feels pleasingly perverse to run these releases down for you on Halloween, when you're probably trying to hang on to the last gasps of spooky season before the barrage of merriment becomes inescapable. So, in keeping with deranged tradition, here is the latest installment of Christmas on Halloween.
Country Christmas Collision
Mickey Guyton's Feels Like Christmas
Lady A's On This Winter's Night (Volume 2)
Willie Nelson's "Christmas Love Song"
Brad Paisley's Snow Globe Town
Lainey Wilson's Peace, Love, & Cowboys (Holiday Edition)
Trisha Yearwood's Christmastime
The country music industry's contributions to the annual glut of new Christmas music remain significant. How much of this stuff actually sounds like country is up for debate, but that's true of the Nashville cohort's non-holiday releases too. Don't miss the gentle weeping twang of Willie Nelson's seasonal single or the sleigh-bells-infused Christmas update of Lainey Wilson's "Peace, Love, & Cowboys," expanded into an EP that lets her duet with a posthumous Bing Crosby for some reason.
The Ultimate Yuletide A Cappella Rivalry
Pentatonix's Christmas In The City vs. Straight No Chaser's Holiday Road
Like Sharks and Jets snapping fingers at each other, the nation's two leading a cappella groups released new Christmas albums on the same day. A Pitch Perfect-style performance competition involving Santa hats may be the only way to settle this.
The Indie Rock Christmas Albums We Need
The Futureheads' Christmas
Various artists' Slow Xmas 5
Speaking of harmonious singing, if any indie rock band is qualified to be making a Christmas album, it's the Futureheads, who've spent the past quarter-century basically running a college a cappella group over top of post-punk tracks. In 2010, the band released a holiday single called "Christmas Was Better In The 80s," which ripped. Along with the new original track "The Coldest Winter In 100 Years," it'll appear on Christmas, the band's forthcoming album mostly comprising Futureheaded versions of seasonal classics. It's due out Nov. 21, and I'm genuinely excited to hear what they've cooked up.
Also exciting, but a lot more chill: Slow Xmas 5, the latest installment of the compilation series curated by Ben Hosley. This year's edition features festive slow jams from Death Valley Girls, Shannon Lay, Nightlands (Dave Hartley of the War on Drugs), Eric Slick of Dr. Dog, and King Garbage's Zach Cooper. It's out Nov. 7, and my advance stream is sounding splendid.
The Punk Rock Christmas Songs We Don't
Dead Boys' "(It's Gonna Be A) Punk Rock Christmas"
Fall Out Boy's "It Feels Like Christmas"
Oh, boy. When we last heard from the Dead Boys, their singer had quit due to talk of a new album with an AI approximation of founding vocalist Stiv Bators. Fortunately the punk veterans (or what's left of them) didn't go that route for their cover of the Ravers' 1977 tune "(It's Gonna Be A) Punk Rock Christmas," instead welcoming new frontman Mark Thorn into the fold to deliver lines like "Even Santa's gonna be a Sex Pistol for a day." It's not something you need to hear, but it's perhaps more appealing than Fall Out Boy's Spotify-exclusive yuletide original, which somehow sounds less punk rock than Patrick Stump's music for Spidey And His Amazing Friends.
Tunes For Jazzy Festivities
Herb Alpert's Christmas Time Is Here
Various artists' Verve // Remixed Holiday
Alpert, who released his first Christmas album way back in 1968, has a new one on deck for next Friday. You're probably better off just going back and listening to that one than subjecting yourself to the muzak-y sounds of his current "Jingle Bells" arrangement. If you want to lean all the way in the other direction, Remixed Holiday comp finds electronic producers putting their modern spin on classics from the Verve catalog, which means stuff like Tourist's strobing, club-ready rework of Ella Fitzgerald singing "We Three Kings." I guess it's what you put on if you want your classy holiday cocktail party to turn into a rave.
A Taste Of The Seasonal Surreal
John Waters' "John Waters Covers ‘Little Cindy'" b/w "A Pig Latin Visit From St. Nicholas" A Chuck E. Cheese Christmas
Camp legend John Waters has a new Christmas parody single, "John Waters Covers ‘Little Cindy'" b/w "A Pig Latin Visit From St. Nicholas," coming next week via Sub Pop. (On the A-side, he's presenting his rendition of Little Cindy's "Happy Birthday Jesus.") But in terms of sheer oddity, Waters could potentially be trumped by the new original songs from A Chuck E. Cheese Christmas. The animated special, premiering next month on Prime Video, stars Nathan Kress (iCarly) as Chuck E. Cheese and includes two songs co-written by co-producer Jon Colton Barry, his father Jeff Barry (a writer on classics like "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)," "Sugar, Sugar," and "I'm A Believer"), and composer Ben Bromfield. Presumably these songs will be accessible and professional, but the fact that they're enmeshed in the Chuck E. Cheese cinematic universe might tip them over into the realm of the uncanny.
For Those Who Want Christmas To Rawk
The Pretty Reckless' Taylor Momsen's Pretty Reckless Christmas
Stryper's The Greatest Gift Of All
Poppy's "Last Christmas"
Taylor Momsen's Pretty Reckless Christmas seems to exist mainly as an excuse for Momsen to make a rocked-out version of "Where Are You Christmas?," the cloying ballad she sang as Cindy Lou Who in the Jim Carrey Grinch movie 25 years ago. Fair game to her; the new track is definitely an improvement, though I'm not sure anyone besides Taylor Momsen was clamoring for it. An even less necessary remake comes from Poppy, who has delivered the umpteenth update on "Last Christmas" as a Spotify exclusive. Least essential of all is the new Christmas album from ‘80s-vintage Christian hard rockers Stryper, who are no longer bringing the same heat that inflamed "To Hell With The Devil."
The Christmas Concert Experience
Amy Grant/Michael W. Smith/CeCe Winans
Leslie Odom Jr.
Creed
Mariah Carey
Sixpence None The Richer
JD McPherson
Warren Haynes
Natalie Grant & Danny Gokey
Ezra Ray Hart (Sugar Ray's Mark McGrath, Tonic's Emerson Hart, and Better Than Ezra's Kevin Griffin)
Would-be Queen of Christmas Mariah Carey, a flurry of Christian and Christian-adjacent artists, and some of your uncle's favorite grizzled singer-songwriters are among those hitting the road for festive tours this holiday season. The most unique offering likely comes from the frontmen of Sugar Ray, Tonic, and Better Than Ezra, who have joined forces for a '90s nostalgia Christmas tour. I'm sure it will involve much more actual Christmas music than the Gods Of Chaos Christmas show starring Gucci Mane and Insane Clown Posse…
Everything Else
Kate Hudson's "Christmas Must Be Tonight" (The Band cover)
Stella Cole's "Merry Christmas, Darling" (Carpenters cover)
Brandon Wisham's "Santa Claus is Comin' To Town"
Hélène in Paris' "Christmas in Paris"
Sheléa's "Want This Christmas With You"
Girls Aloud's "Not Tonight Santa"
Chloe Flower's She Composed: The Holidays
Judy Whitmore's Christmas
Natalie Grant's Christmas
Toby Gad's Christmas Piano Diaries
I don't have anything to say about these stray tracks and albums, but we want you to know they exist. Happy Halloween Merry Christmas!
