Cranford Committee Meeting: One Man Sings Lizzo While Dressed As A Bong, Next Speaker Arrested After Singing Morrissey

Picture this: A man in a purple bong suit named Bongholeo approaches the podium at a town hall meeting. He is not alone. He's holding a crying baby doll named Bonholita, who is dressed as a red bong. Are you dreaming? No, you're just in New Jersey at the Township of Cranford Municipal Building on Tuesday, July 7.

"Being a father is the toughest, best job you'll ever have," Bongholeo says, captured in a recording of the meeting, as he places Bonholita on the ground. Then he holds up his phone to the speaker and you hear a woman announce: "To the fine residents of Cranford, New Jersey, welcome to the Cranford dance party. Feel free to shake your hips, clap your hands, and groove to the music. It is my great honor to present to you Bongholeo and baby Bonholita." The purple bong man then starts singing a bong-themed parody of Lizzo's "About Damn Time."

"Big bong o'clock, yeah it's hit-thirty/ I've been sucked on a lot/ So I'm a little dirty," he sings. The handful of people in the pews behind him are mostly unfazed, except for an older gentleman with swoopy gray hair who keeps grinning to himself. Bongholeo continues to sing about smoking weed, loving the ladies, and being a bong. He's rewarded with applause and exits with a "love Cranford." (Bongholeo's real name is Mike Vintzileos. Last year he turned up at a town council meeting in Edison.)

When I think about a bong singing "I'm smoking pot tonight," my brain breaks a bit. It's bordering on masturbatory. I also can't help but wish Lizzo had something to do with this as a new form of PR strategy for the flop allegations she's been confronted with.

The chaos continues following Bongholeo's performance. Will Thilly, a longtime government critic who went viral last year for breakdancing at a committee meeting, takes the podium with a sign that reads "Refuse Gov't Abuse." He opens with a song that I can't decipher, continues on with a speech about stopping all government overreach, and then closes with singing Morrissey's "The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get," which then results in his arrest. (Not because of the song or how terrible his singing was, but because he went over his time limit.)

The committee warns Thilly three times that he had gone over his allotted time, which he argues with and continues to sing. The committee goes to recess.

It was reported that Thilly was arrested after he was removed from the meeting. He was "charged with aggravated assault with bodily injury on a law enforcement officer." That same report detailed how upheaval continued following Thilly's removal. A man named Leon Truth took the podium to stand up for Thilly and then read a "parody poem." He then ended his time by chanting "Free Will Thilly."

You can watch it all go down below.