The latest installment of the NPR quiz show Wait Wait…Don't Tell Me! was recorded in Chicago, and it features an appearance from Stephen Malkmus, who moved to the Windy City in recent years. According to NPR's episode description, the Pavement/Jicks/Hard Quartet frontman was there "to answer three questions about construction zones." Specifically, he played a game called "Pavement repairs are underway!" As someone who hears "5-4=Unity" in my head every time I see a highway sign that says GROOVED PAVEMENT, I appreciate the hyper-literal approach. However, the main takeaway from the episode has to do with towels, not asphalt.
In a clip circulating on the show's social accounts, host Peter Sagal asks Malkmus about Pavement's famously undemanding tour rider, which lays down few specific requirements for the green room. "We have a basic rider," Malkmus says. "I mean, the other guys want towels. I don't use towels."
This leads to consternation and disbelief among the episode's panelists — "Ever?" "You just air dry?" — to which Malkmus replies, "I don't sweat that much. Not too much." He adds, I wouldn't do that onstage," mimicking aggressively wiping his face. "So yeah, I don't need them," he concludes, before opening a different can of worms. "And they're always black."
This sparks a new comedic, incredulous line of inquiry from Alzo Slade, who is Black: "What's wrong with that?"
After everyone gets their anxious laughter in, Malkmus explains, "Well, there's something about a rock 'n' roll towel that — it's not just that black is rock 'n' roll, like heavy metal or something. But also you don't know what's on there, on the towel. Who knows when it's not clean, maybe. They're dry when we get them. I just, I see dust in them or something. It's always dusty back there. Y'all's is kind of dusty too."
A bemused Sagal sums things up: "The father of indie rock is like, 'I don't know about those towels. They're unsanitary.' That's not the lifestyle I imagine you living, I have to admit." Watch this whole exchange below, if you so choose.
And here's audio of the full episode:
